There’s something magical about book clubs: the shared love of story, the snacks, the intense side-eyes when someone says they didn’t finish the book (again). But what if we threw fictional characters into the mix?
Spoiler: chaos. Delicious, unhinged chaos.
Here are five fictional characters who would absolutely derail the discussion, drink all the wine, or turn everything into a therapy session—and I’d still save them a seat.
🐍 1. Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo)
How he’d ruin it: He’d show up late, say nothing for the first 45 minutes, then drop a soul-crushing analysis of the book’s ending that makes everyone question their existence.
Why I’d still invite him: The man knows his way around a plot twist, and let’s be honest—he’s probably got dirt on half the characters we’re reading about. Also, I want to watch him roll his eyes at someone’s predictable ship.
🧚 2. Morrigan Crow (Nevermoor by Jessica Townsend)
How she’d ruin it: She’d try so hard to be polite but accidentally insult everyone’s taste in books. She also 100% brings a cursed snack she swears is “traditional.”
Why I’d still invite her: She’s got main character energy and a heart of gold. Plus, I feel like she’d make whimsical bookmarks for everyone.
👑 3. Sookie Stackhouse (The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris)
How she’d ruin it: She’d spill book club gossip before the wine is even poured and then ask very personal questions like it’s casual. Oh, and she’d tell you exactly what everyone’s thinking—even when you don’t want to know.
Why I’d still invite her: She brings homemade pie. Every. Time.
🔥 4. Victor Vale (Vicious by V.E. Schwab)
How he’d ruin it: He’d immediately steer the conversation into a dark spiral about morality, power, and “what makes a villain.” Suddenly we’re not talking about the book anymore—we’re just… debating our souls.
Why I’d still invite him: The drama. The edge. The fact that I like my philosophical breakdowns served with menace.
🎻 5. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn)
How she’d ruin it: Oh, sweet summer child… she is the book club chaos. She’d weaponize her Goodreads reviews and drop psychological warfare like it’s a party trick. You’d leave the meeting unsure of your entire personality.
Why I’d still invite her: Honestly? I want to see what she does with the cheese plate. And part of me wants to impress her, which probably says something deeply unsettling about me.
Honorable Mentions:
- Luna Lovegood – Would go off-topic and talk about magical creatures no one else can see. You’d love her anyway.
- Jesper Fahey – Would flirt with everyone and forget what the book was about.
- Elizabeth Bennet – Passive-aggressively roasts you for liking the wrong characters. And she’s right to do it.
Who would you risk total book club anarchy for?
Drop your picks in the comments—bonus points for characters who’d bring snacks and chaos. 👀
literary gluttony 
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