Because sometimes what you really crave is a man who scowls like it’s foreplay.
Let’s set the table, friends. Today’s course? The Grumpy One™—served hot, emotionally unavailable, and preferably in a tight Henley.
This is the guy who has never smiled in his life but will murder gods for the sunshine-y chaos gremlin who wormed their way under his skin. He doesn’t do feelings. He does lingering glances, clenched jaws, and silent acts of devotion that scream “I’d die for you but I will never, ever talk about it.”
Yes. THAT trope. I would lick the plate clean.
🥄Why This Trope Feeds the Soul:
🧂 It’s the ultimate emotional slow roast.
You don’t get his affection. You earn it. One awkward compliment at a time. One grunted “be careful” that actually means I’m falling apart inside because I love you.
🍷 It pairs beautifully with yearning.
Grumps don’t do love declarations. They do: “I noticed you haven’t eaten. Here’s a sandwich I made while pretending not to care.”
🍮 It’s sweet in a way that makes your teeth hurt.
You know that scene where he finally breaks and blurts out his feelings like a damn bursting? That’s the literary equivalent of caramel oozing from a molten lava cake.
đź“šThree Grumps Worth Bingeing:
🥵 Adam Carlsen in The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
Science’s moodiest boyfriend. Has the emotional range of a cactus until he falls headfirst into soft domestic longing and fake-dating shenanigans. I would write “Dr. Olive Carlsen” in Sharpie on every surface I own.
đź–¤ Charlie Lastra in Book Lovers by Emily Henry
A tall glass of literary bitterness who reads like your ex… if your ex had therapy, taste in books, and secret soft hands. Broods in bookstores. Hates everyone except you.
đź’™ Vektal in Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon
Yes, he’s blue. Yes, he’s an alien. Yes, he’s grumpy as hell about having feelings. But once he picks his human mate, it’s over. He’s building her a warm cave and fighting monsters with nothing but rage and pheromones.
🔥 Tell Me: Who’s Your Favorite Fictional Grump?
Drop your broody, emotionally constipated faves in the comments. Bonus points if they give off “touch her and die” vibes while pretending not to care.
Because here at Literary Gluttony, we don’t just nibble on romance tropes—we devour them whole, moaning and dramatic like we’re in a Regency fainting couch montage.
literary gluttony 
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